Mon 07 Apr, 07:19

Well, well, well…what do we have here then?

My beloved wife Bella is home! My son Chester is home! My dog Noah’s Bark is home!

I still can’t believe I fell for that 30-day long April Fool’s Day prank by Bella. How did she have the resolve to stay at her mother’s, away from me(!!!), and pretend to be angry that I’d forgotten Chester’s birthday for that long?! Haha. She’s a cracker.

Now that my family life is no longer in tatters, I can go back to concentrating on keeping a bloody, ruddy eye on our neighbourhood.

I am going to be watching you all with a fine toothcomb and flood this Substack with urgent, timely, detailed updates, rather than it being the diary of a man losing his marbles!

Stay safe,

Your Lighthouse,

Carl at Number 2.